


Perched In The Soul

by Asphodelia



Series: The Thing With The Feathers [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, onesided Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, takes place between 3.12 and 3.13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9468164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asphodelia/pseuds/Asphodelia
Summary: Oswald hadn't thought about Jim in months, but then...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to 'The Thing With The Feathers'.

He hadn’t thought about Jim Gordon in months. 

They had kissed once, on a night when Jim’s morals had been stretched too thin and Oswald’s grief was still fresh. The press of Jim’s lips against his had seemed to transport them each out of their own grim realities for a few precious moments. It had cemented Oswald’s belief that they were linked, then and for the rest of their lives in Gotham, and reignited his hope that perhaps that bond would become something warm someday.

He had thought the kiss was proof of something, that he had more sway over the other man than he had realized before. 

His hope for a future with Jim had seemed indestructible. Even when Jim had betrayed him _again_ – left him in the hands of Hugo Strange despite Oswald’s willingness to take exclusive blame for their shared crime – Oswald had thought _‘maybe someday’_. 

Maybe someday Jim would learn to appreciate him. Maybe someday Jim would be the one aching for his regard and affection – which he would give, of course, after letting him sweat for a while as punishment. If Jim could kiss him desperately not ten paces from a corpse they had created together, perhaps he could love him. Someday. 

Oswald routinely grew disgusted with his own pining and wished for his hopes would die. They did not, no matter how he endeavored to kill them. By the time of Jim’s stint as a bounty hunter, Oswald’s former admiration for the man had marinated long and well in his feelings of spite and betrayal and Oswald was not even sure he _liked_ Jim anymore, even as he was still certain he loved him. 

And he was certain. And then he just stopped thinking about it. 

He did not gradually fall out of love with Jim Gordon, he just thought less about him as they had less contact and his focus turned to his mayoral ambitions. And then there was Ed. 

Ed was his best friend. Oswald had never had someone he could rely on so completely before. He had wanted that person to be Jim, but it never really had been. Ed was the first person to genuinely have his back, unconditionally. 

The realization that he loved Ed came to him in a sudden rush of warm, bubbling, delightful feelings. It was not unlike his initial infatuation with Jim – clean and pure and based on the notion that he might not be alone anymore. The main difference was that he knew Ed was not disgusted by what Oswald was. He actually admired him for it. Oswald had never felt admired before and it was intoxicating. 

Isabelle (Isabella? Kristen? Whatever.) had been like a blonde fly in his soup. With Jim, Oswald had accepted in the beginning that he loved Barbara and that they could never be more than friends, but that was different. Jim had been a fantasy, and there were ways in which it was easier to think of him as unattainable. 

Ultimately, his kiss with Jim had only made it hurt more to see him actively choosing Dr. Thompkins over him. So much for planting a flag in the other’s mind. 

But Isabelle was different and _Ed_ was different too. Ed didn’t feel unattainable, and Isabelle was just some fling he was getting uncomfortably serious about. Removing her from the equation felt natural – hardly even noteworthy. He was surprised by how affected Ed seemed by it all. She just wasn’t important.

Perhaps he should have just let it play out to its inevitable end, but Oswald was sick of waiting to have love in his life and it was just so easy. 

As it turned out, Ed only thought of him as a friend. That was still farther than he’d ever gotten with his previous love. It pained Oswald, but he would accept it in time.

If Ed were ever back in his life to be his friend again.

Ultimately, getting rid of Isabelle had been a mistake. Now Ed was off grieving when Oswald needed him most.

The specter of his father had distracted him from all thoughts of romance with anyone, and the next few days passed in an awful blur. Oswald had collapsed on his sofa after the nightmare of an interview and he wasn’t sure how long he had been there for. Sometimes he flicked on the tv to distract himself from his thoughts. 

That’s when he saw him. Jim Gordon, rushing down a rainy street, trying to outpace a reporter from channel 9. 

“Detective Gordon, care to comment on the mayor’s interview last night?”

“Detective Bullock is acting Captain right now, maybe you should –“

“Acting Captain Bullock declined to comment.”

“Yeah, same here.” Jim tried again to walk away and the reporter moved in front of him.

“These are uncertain times, Detective Gordon, and a lot of people in this city see you as a hero.”

Jim looked like he couldn’t decide whether to argue or try to run past her. He was flustered. The corners of Oswald’s mouth twitched slightly, although he did not have it in him to smile.

“Listen, I didn’t even see the interview, so –“

“Mayor Cobblepot ended it by saying ‘to hell with the people’.”

Jim frowned deeply.

“He doesn’t mean that.” Jim looked like he wished he could take the words back the second they left his mouth.

The reporter seemed surprised for about half a second before she pounced. 

“How do you know what the mayor means? Are you in contact with him?”

“Definitely not.” You could see Jim’s frustration growing as he tried to walk around the reporter once more. She blocked him again. 

“Then how do you know what he means?”

“I don’t. No comment.” 

“You already commented.” The reporter looked unimpressed, and Jim looked like he was seriously considering running in the opposite direction despite how childish it would look.

In the end he just huffed a sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know what he means. I’m a cop, and I’ve only known Cobblepot as a criminal.”

_Liar!_ Oswald felt a spike of anger so strong it almost shocked him off his couch. Almost. Whatever he and Jim had been to each other, it had been more than just ‘cop and criminal’. 

“But…” The words he was saying must have tasted terrible, if Jim’s face was anything to go by. He was capable of the most interesting expressions sometimes. “He loves Gotham. In his own way. He cares. He wouldn’t…if he said something like that there must have been something else going on.” 

“Something like what?”

“I don’t know. Listen, I really need to get going.” Jim managed to get around the reporter this time and she didn’t chase him again.

“Well, there you have it. According to hero-cop Jim Gordon, Mayor Cobblepot is simply misunderstood, but this reporter isn’t buying it. Back to you, Brian.” 

Oswald flicked off the television and buried his face in a throw pillow. He hadn’t even thought of Jim Gordon since realizing the nature of his feelings for Ed, but apparently there was a corner of his heart that would always belong to the tarnished white knight because right now it was singing. Jim understood. He saw that Oswald loved the city, the way Oswald saw that Jim did. They had that connection still, at the very least, and although he was in the grips of far too awful a feeling to be truly cheered up there was a part of him that had needed that validation that was satisfied now. 

That was what he thought he’d been getting from Ed, Oswald realized. Validation. Beyond any actions Ed had taken to defend him, Ed saw Oswald the way he wanted to be seen. The way he had always wished Jim would see him. 

Oswald’s love for Jim had always been about what he could do for the other man and how high a regard he had for him. He had always wanted reciprocity – for Jim to return his favors and his regard – and had never gotten it. This scrap of acknowledgment, given accidentally to a hounding reporter, was probably more than he ever should have hoped for. 

Oswald’s love for Ed was about what Ed could do for Oswald, not in the sense of actions but in the sense of wanting to take them. Ed validated Oswald’s feelings that he was a man worthy of devotion. He had given him all the things Jim never would have, despite not actually returning his romantic feelings. 

Ed had been willing to do anything for Oswald, just like Oswald had wanted to do for Jim.

Oswald regretted for a moment that he had not contented himself with Ed’s friendship the way he always told himself he would with Jim’s, were it ever offered. Ed loved him in a different way than Oswald loved Ed, and pushing for what he wanted would mean rejecting what had already been given. 

When Ed came back, Oswald resolved, Oswald would be better to him. He would remember the earnest friendship that Jim had rejected and bestow it on a more accepting subject. He would build his friend a pedestal, not unlike the one he had placed Jim Gordon on almost four years ago, and he would content himself with the type of platonic love Ed was capable of feeling for him. Or, he would try anyways. Ed deserved that from him. 

And he would stop thinking of Jim Gordon again, because the muted delight he had felt watching that report was already twisting itself into something sharp in his chest. He had enough to pain to stew in already without subjecting himself to thoughts of Jim Gordon. 

Still, as he drifted into a fitful sleep, along with the yearning to have Ed back by his side and his fear over what could have been done to his father’s bones and spirit, there was a whisper echoing in that part of his heart that would always belong to Jim –

_Maybe someday…_

**Author's Note:**

> Like Oswald, I thought I had moved on to other ships, but Gobblepotting is a hard thing to quit. They're still endgame, for me. 
> 
> Even though the show has given us nothing to work with lately. 
> 
> Anyways, I'm asphodel-storm on tumblr. I don't really post to tumblr, but if you want to send me a message we can talk Gobblepot =D


End file.
